FEELING FIFTEEN

Fifteen by Taylor Swift

You take a deep breath and walk through the doors it's the morning of your very first day

Why do I love this song?
I love it because it is about how a typical girl will feel at one point in their life.
For Taylor, it was when she is 15; a time when she feels that love could be everything, a time when she is seeking for directions, a time when she is moving into a new phase in life...all which I can relate to at certain point in life.

Honestly, I'm always slower in maturing. Some teens at 12 are already talking about love relationships and crushes. Serious and shocking to me personally because when I was 12, all I think about is Spice Girls. Boys? Really? Nah...I mean, all the boys in my year were...erm...I guess at that time, we just don't think of them as boyfriend material, maybe because we don't even know what a boyfriend is for. Maybe you don't believe it but me and my friends were actually THAT NAIVE. That's usually what small town girls like us are I guess. At least I am.

Even when I was 15, I never really thought about boys. I guess I am always nerdy in highschool...real nerdy (even though I don't wear specs or act like those typical nerdy girls). Because I didn't get straight As for my UPSR, my Form 1 to 3 years were dedicated to making sure that I do well in PMR. There were some of my classmates who talk about boys and all but I never really was in that gang. I was in the TV-Movie-couch potato gang who talk about TV shows, movies and celebrities. Miss those times....

So if Taylor experience all those stuff at 15, I guess I started experience what she experience at the age ranging from 17 to 19.

You take a deep breath and walk through the doors it's the morning of your very first day
You say Hi to your friends you ain't seen in awhile
Try to stay out of everybody's way
It's freshman year and you're gonna be here for the 4 years in this town
Hoping one of those senior boys,
Will wink at you and say "You know I haven't seen you around before"...

At 17, I stepped into college, and my very first day in college was a whole new experience for me and it was the threshold of a whole new phase in my life. Of course my first semester in college wasn't the greatest but I've grown to fall in love with my college and my college buddies over the years. Unlike Taylor, I didn't expect ANY SENIOR BOYS to wink at me. I mean, I can't deny that at 17, a girl will tend to notice boys more, but then at 17, I still wasn't that desperate for guy's attention yet. I still believe I have plenty of time to slowly choose my PERFECT GUY (as usual, the dreamer mentality. Where got one!) Plus, the moment I stepped into my class, no offense, but I was pretty disappointed. I think the only one which caught my attention most was Alric (everyone would know why). Alric is definitely the best-looking and confident guy in class. But don't think I have a major crush on him...haha..nah, I seriously don't. Alric is a great friend, even till now and I believe a lot of people know I admire his qualities.

My next phase in life was the transaction to Advanced Diploma. If previously there were 5 broadcast classes, Advanced Diploma had combined all the broadcast students into one class. To me, this is one of the best things that happened in my life because this is how I began closer to some of my closest friends like YY and Lydia. And diverting my attention on guys, this time, my attention was drawn to a senior, not because of his good looks or whatever great qualities...but because my close friend YY kept diverting my attention to his don't-care attitude. It is true. He always does crazy crazy stuff...he's not goofy, but rather, he just seemed to like to do things matter-a-factly. Like once, we had to do a mock meeting as presentation and this is an important presentation as it will contribute to our coursework marks. I mean, of course everyone is doing things at their best, but this dude was like tilting his chair and sucking his sweet during presentation. He was like really....well, quite entertaining to a certain extend.
So who is this dude? Another good friend of mine, YC. You ponder back on your first impression of these people and you really can't believe it is them, because at that time, you barely know them. I think I never thought of YC as the person I know him now back then.

The ABC gang - Advanced Diploma in Broadcast gang
My life has been transformed since I met all of them.
They are a fun bunch who will definitely cheer you up when you are down.
Had a blast throughout my 2 years of study with them.

Then came UK. I think UK was another transition in my life where I became close to 5 beautiful girls whom I never really talk to in class. I know they were brilliant and extremely kind, but I never really communicated with them for there wasn't really any need to. UK brought them closer to me and I am so glad to have them as my flatmates who had faced and supported me through the adversities of assignments in Liverpool. JT and Wei Sin also became extremely close buddies of mine in Liverpool. I guess they were also my back-bone when I was extremely down, especially due to assignment stress. OH and UK was really the time when I seriously hoped that a guy would wink at me and say "I haven't seen you around before" haha...I mean, they are all so good-looking. I can't help it okay~ I seriously can't control my eyes. But I guess everyone know I have the biggest puppy crush on my lecturer Andrew. Erm but then, practically every girl in the course has a thing for him.

The 5 hotties that I became really attached to in UK.
They were my flatmates, who took care of me and made sure that I have enough good food to eat and also made sure that I did all my assignments.
Love them!

You sit in class next to redhead named Abigail and soon enough your best friends,
Laughing at the other girls,
Who think their so cool,
Gotta get out of here as soon as we can

This I got to relate back to the days when I was 14...I met my best friend in Form 2, when I, well
didn't exactly sit next to her, but rather, in front of her. Jee Yin was the best thing that happened to me in MGS. She was the one who I can talk to then about most ANYTHING and EVERYTHING.

Jee Yin, Ju Imm & Me. Both of them are girls that I hang out with throughout my high school days. Love their company. Will be besties forever though we took different paths in life.

I enjoyed MGS days because of her. And really, we talked about those other girls (who we don't get and their arrogant, 'cool' antics) and really hoping to get out of there as soon as we can. I never liked high school. I don't know. I guess maybe I don't feel the bond with my school and the other students there. With college it was different. My whole bunch of college friends, especially those in Advanced Diploma, are a huge part of me now. Some of them in fact are very important to me. I guess in some ways, I think I enjoy TARC so much because of these friends of mine.


And then you're on your very first date and he's got a car and you're feeling like flying
And your mama's waiting up
And you're thinking he's the one...
And you dance around the room, when the night ends..

Never felt this way before, because I've never been on a date before, so I don't know. But I'm really hoping that one day I could feel this way about someone and then I could dance around my room just thinking about my first date.

'Cause when you're fifteen,
Somebody tells you they love you,
You're gonna believe them

And when you're fifteen and your first kiss makes your world spin round
In your life you'll do things greater than dating the boy on your football team

I guess I was never the kinda girl who want to be completely dependent on a guy. I guess even though as I grow up, part of me wants to be crazily in love, I still have a principle that I cannot depend on the guy 100% (could be one reason why people think I like dominating everything). I guess in some ways I lack faith in relationships...I don't know why. That's why I always believe that as a girl, my goal would be to achieve success in my career but not to date as many hot guys as I can. But then again, maybe the fact that I was never popular among guys is the reason I think that way. =D But at this point, I'm not sure if I'm getting there...or if I'm getting anywhere since I'm currently at a new crossroad in life - entering the working world. But that's another story I guess.

But then I think for a girl, they'll usually believe whatever their first love say, whether or not they are 15 or older. I guess I always wanted to be this strong, independent girl, but even so, I can't be 100% sure that when I fall head over heels with a guy, I won't be stupid and naive to believe everything he say. I know there are times when one will be blinded by love. Personally, I've never been there before, but I have seen a few people who have been. You might call them stupid, but then I guess when the cupid is working its magic on you, you can't control it, can you?

And Abigail gave everything she has to a boy who changed his mind
We both cried...

This, I don't know why is my favourite verse in the song.
When I hear this part, it touches my heart and I feel kinda sad. I guess it reminds me of all the girls who gave their hearts out, loving a guy, only to be let down. How devastating...exactly what I fear most - hurt. Sigh...

Fifteen is one of my favourite tracks in Taylor's new album so do check it out!


Miley and Taylor sang this song in one award song, and I thought Miley didn't carry out the emotions that this song has but Taylor really did. My favourite part was when Taylor sang my favourite verse - she delivered the sadness she felt for her friend. Well I guess to be fair to Miley, she didn't write the song. But still, at fifteen, Miley should try to relate...I don't know. Not a Miley fan.

Check out their performance in this link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-1tsAwkti4&feature=related

All these phases in life made me treasure my friends more and of course helped me gain experience as a youth who is growing up and maturing and exploring the world. Basically, I think that is the essence of the song. It doesn't mean that you have to be 15 to be feeling what Taylor feel, but I think many of us have to a certain extend gone through these emotions.



That's all for this time

With Lotsa Lurve,
TammyC